Talking dirty doesn’t come naturally for most women which explains why many dating experts like myself receive countless correspondence and questions on the topic. Things like:
- Why do men love dirty talk so much?
- My man wants me to talk dirty to him. What should I do?
- Help! I want to talk dirty to my boyfriend, but I don’t know what to say or how to say it!
If you are one of those women who are keen on pleasing your man 100% but you are having some problems in the “dirty talk department”, you are in the right place.
Many men want to talk dirty with their girlfriends and spouses. It may be in bed, at work, over text, while hanging out etc. He may initiate dirt talk in person, via his phone or any other gadget. If you find yourself mum i.e. you don’t know how to act, respond etc. don’t worry. You aren’t alone.
Dirty talk doesn’t have to be embarrassing or awkward as many women claim. If you understand the reasons behind it and why men love it so much, you won’t have any problems responding favorably to it.
It is important to note there are many good programs online today that have tried to address the dirty talk subject. Perhaps the best is Language of Desire by Felicity Keith. This article won’t discuss the mechanics of dirty talk in depth like Felicity’s program does, but rather why men love it so much and how you should respond when your man wants you to talk dirty to him.
Let’s start by discussing some of the main reasons why men love dirty talk.
1. Men have one erogenous zone only
Contrary to popular belief, men have only one erogenous zone which matters. It’s not his manhood or his stomach. It’s his brain. Period!
Although many people may disagree with this, it’s the truth. A man’s mind/imagination matters more than any other body part.
Some research studies have proven this fact by suggesting and proving that women enjoy sex more than men on a purely physical level. Although this is contrary to popular belief, some scientific studies have proven this fact.
If that’s truly the case, you may now be asking yourself why most men want to have sex multiple times if they don’t get as much thrill from it? Well, there are a few reasons behind this.
One, testosterone doesn’t just make men grow chest hair. It has also been proven to make men desperate to mate with many women. Also, the psychological high of pleasuring women is extremely intoxicating to men.
One of the best ways for a man to pleasure a woman is to have sex with her. Although the act itself brings some pleasure, being praised makes men extremely aroused. This is precisely why men love dirty talk.
There is no better way to let your man know that he is pleasing you other than to tell him yourself by talking dirty during sex.
2. It helps to gauge if you are also interested
Let’s face it. In many instances, women are hard to turn on during sex. For this reason, many men might have some doubts on whether their women are interested in them or not.
Dirty talk gives men the go ahead to engage you fully. Considering men think about sex more than women, dirty talk with you helps to make his thoughts two-sided. It will help him focus all his attention on you which is exactly what he wants if he loves you.
So how should you respond if your man wants you to talk dirty to him?
Having understood why men love dirty talk, let’s focus our attention to how you should respond because most women are clueless on this matter. If you don’t want to mess things up, here’s what you should do:
1. Don’t respond to your man like he’s a woman
Most women mess up dirty talk by responding to it as if they are dealing with a woman. Instead of dismissing it or being disgusted or embarrassed by it, go with the flow and turn up the heat gradually. This works wonders for most men.
2. Understand the ultimate male fantasy
You should also focus on understanding what every guy dreams about. Most men want to turn on women without having to do anything.
It seems a little silly and unrealistic, but most men want to be so sexy, dominant, and powerful that they turn on women without having to do much. That’s right, he wants to feel like he’s such an unbelievably dominant MAN, that the mere sight of him sends you into an earth-shattering orgasm.
If you understand this, you won’t have a problem responding to him in a way that makes him feel sexy, masculine, and powerful. You can talk about how he turns you on. You can also talk about his masculine physique, behavior etc (and, yes, that includes the size of his “package”).
When it comes right down to it, a lot of talking dirty to your man is good-ole fashioned ego stroking. Few things make a man feel more empowered than having a beautiful women (you) tell him what a stud he is, especially in the bedroom.
After reading the above information, you shouldn’t have a problem understanding men’s obsession with dirty talk and how to respond to it perfectly.
You can always check out Felicity Keith’s Language of Desire if you want more information on the specifics of dirty talk and how to perfect it as a woman.